I’ve got some family from Poland and immediately recognized some of the letter combinations.

Lemme go back to my first translation from “Porque no los dos.” This phrase was popularized by a Mexican food commercial where a family is arguing about two different things, and this one girl says “why not the both of them?” Literally translated word by word: Why not the two.

Since someone was being silly and asking for a translation in Spanish, I did a terrible “translation” to similar sounding words. A reverse example is the word “embarrassed.” Sometimes people will say “estoy embarazada” when they are embarrassed. This is a mistake usually made by people who don’t speak Spanish as their main language. While “embarazada” is a real word, it means pregnant, not embarrassed.

So, I did find phonetic equivalents from Spanish to English. This was a bit more difficult from Polish because the pronunciation of many of the words you wrote are very different from how they look to someone who doesn’t know West Slavic languages. So, I had to find a balance between an uninformed, but realistic phonetic equivalent as though what you wrote was being read to me by a tourist.

For example, I believe “stracił dwa” would be pronounced more like “straw chew d’va.” But I’d imagine a tourist would say “straw sill(or chill) d’wah.”

Does that make a little more sense? You’d have to read your Polish, but, like, really really wrong. And then think of phonetic equivalents of that.

In summary: I wasted my time and have no regrets.