Is it possible to survive by eating only through your ass? (Serious.)
from asdfranger@lemmynsfw.com to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world on 22 Sep 05:06
https://lemmynsfw.com/post/30848004

It’s a fact that the rectum can absorb some amount of nutrients.

So, a person should probably be able to live for quite some time while only absorbing nutrients via enema, right?

Can it be done?

#nostupidquestions

threaded - newest

Hobbes_Dent@lemmy.world on 22 Sep 05:12 next collapse

From Wikipedia:

A variety of different mixes have been used for nutrient enemas throughout history. A paper published in Nature in 1926 stated that because the rectum and lower digestive tractlack digestive enzymes, it is likely that only the end-products of normal digestion such as sugars, amino acids, salt and alcohol, will be absorbed.[8]

Plus I think you’d have no lipid absorption, so you could probably survive longer than starvation, but I’m guessing not “quite some” time.

asdfranger@lemmynsfw.com on 22 Sep 05:29 collapse

Damn, that is tragic.

I suppose one could decide to consume ass-absorbable nutrients only by enema, and supplement the incompatible nutrients orally. That won’t be pure ass, but half a loaf is better than no bread.

mbp@lemmy.sdf.org on 22 Sep 06:58 next collapse

Just here to appreciate your linguistic prose.

corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca on 23 Sep 21:13 collapse

That won’t be pure ass

So, half-assed, you say?

Kolanaki@pawb.social on 22 Sep 05:15 next collapse

You can breathe through your rectum, too, technically; but it’s not fast enough at getting oxygen in your system to keep you from suffocating.

I am suspecting that eating food that way may have the same issue. It almost certainly would not break up normal food enough without saliva, chewing, and stomach acids, limiting thr nutrients you can absorb, too.

dysprosium@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 22 Sep 06:02 next collapse

But your rectum does not absorb any oxygen

Kolanaki@pawb.social on 23 Sep 23:35 collapse

Look up the term “enteral ventilation via anus.”

asdfranger@lemmynsfw.com on 22 Sep 06:19 next collapse

I’m not thinking about actual undigested food, but special food “slurry”, with nutrients specifically arranged and concentrated for maximum absorption.

BurgerBaron@piefed.social on 23 Sep 23:29 collapse

TIL. Apparently there were studies done using an oxygen-enriched enema potentially for drowned people to resuscitate them. Didn’t work lol.

thann@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 22 Sep 05:57 next collapse

Most people survive only talking out their ass, so I dont see why not

MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca on 22 Sep 06:56 collapse

<img alt="" src="https://lemmy.ca/pictrs/image/cc7eac34-619d-4d79-a9d5-271f7819b01f.png">

You shouldn’t make fun of a serious medical condition.

BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca on 22 Sep 06:06 next collapse

Something new to try for Thanksgiving:

<img alt="Martha Stewart " src="https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTZjMDliOTUybGhyZ3M5MmxudzZvc2luenpzNnh6dzB4OTlwcnc4Mm9vOW01a2V2YyZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/l2Sq1dB98cirbzv3i/giphy.gif">

clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works on 23 Sep 20:53 collapse

That’s horrific. Is that Martha Stewart?

dickalan@lemmy.world on 24 Sep 00:20 collapse

Yes it’s from the how to eat with your butt Southpark

clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works on 24 Sep 04:32 collapse

Apropos.

Tollana1234567@lemmy.today on 22 Sep 06:12 next collapse

human centipede? have you watched it?

you will mostly get blood poisoning from bacteria/fecal decaying and food in your rectum.

M137@lemmy.world on 22 Sep 08:35 collapse

Have you watched it? It’s about people getting force fed another person’s feces, which isn’t the same at all. It’s the opposite of what this thread is about. I think you might have some feces in your brain, only reason that could explain your idiocy.

vala@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 22 Sep 06:40 next collapse

Yes.

For how long? Science doesn’t know yet.

We can finally put a number on it when Musk passes.

Drbreen@sh.itjust.works on 22 Sep 09:33 next collapse

If we could eat through our arse, we’d all be living forever.

CallMeAnAI@lemmy.world on 22 Sep 11:10 next collapse

I feel like there is a limit on “no stupid questions”, and you flew past it at 100mph with that latin music drive-by meme.

asdfranger@lemmynsfw.com on 22 Sep 12:58 collapse

Latin music drive-by meme? I tried looking for it but didn’t find anything resembling that.

Also, there should be no limit to stupidity ;)

CallMeAnAI@lemmy.world on 22 Sep 13:49 collapse

Latin might not have been the best descriptor, and this one is dumb www.tiktok.com/@meg__legs/…/7229005319286885675

asdfranger@lemmynsfw.com on 22 Sep 16:02 collapse

🤣 I don’t think I’d be able to come up with a better descriptor either.

(same video here for those who understandably don’t want to open tiktok)

Crackhappy@lemmy.world on 23 Sep 18:28 collapse

Bless you!

Son_of_Macha@lemmy.cafe on 22 Sep 11:17 next collapse

No. Your stomach and small intestine absorb most of the nutrients, your large intestine absorbs mostly water.

SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca on 22 Sep 11:17 next collapse

No, medically speaking, this is how you get Assburgers Syndrome.

EponymousBosh@awful.systems on 22 Sep 12:31 next collapse

Boooooooo.

[clicks upvote arrow]

credo@lemmy.world on 22 Sep 19:49 next collapse

But what if you stick to pasta?

Breezy@lemmy.world on 23 Sep 11:24 collapse

Only if its nice and al dente.

MycelialMass@lemmy.world on 24 Sep 00:40 collapse

A loud ‘HA’ literally burst out of me involuntarily.

elevenbones@sh.itjust.works on 23 Sep 09:43 next collapse

Oh fuck, I’ve been eating wrong this whole time

DarkFuture@lemmy.world on 23 Sep 20:46 collapse

Alternatively, is it possible to survive by eating only ass?

T00l_shed@lemmy.world on 24 Sep 01:47 collapse

Cuttlefish and asparagus, or vanilla bean paste?