Is "dark humor" generally acceptable or is it just my parents/culture more sensitive towards jokes?
from DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world on 06 Mar 00:10
https://sh.itjust.works/post/56344020

Example:

My parents are frugal af and refuse to get a new phone charger and tries to “fix it”. I think my mom mentioned it caught on fire (or sparks) once or something like that…

So I was like: “Just get a new one for fucks sakes … Oh I mean I guess you can keep using it… the house is insured, fire is included in the policy, so I guess it’s fine.”

Then my mom gets mad because it’s “bad luck” to say stuff like this… as if somehow making this joke is gonna have a cause-effect to the house catching on fire… 🤔

Like are they afraid of angering the Gods? Spirits? Wut lmao?

🤦‍♂️

#nostupidquestions

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Skyrmir@lemmy.world on 06 Mar 00:16 next collapse

I’ve found that people who are offended by dark humor (the non racist variety) tend to be people I don’t like, and don’t trust alone with children.

Nemo@slrpnk.net on 06 Mar 00:16 next collapse

It’s only funny if they’re in on the joke.

Bustedknuckles@lemmy.world on 06 Mar 00:31 next collapse

I think “dark humor” can be a pretty broad term. You were just poking fun and lightheartedly highlighting a real risk of not getting a new charger. On the other hand, I know people that have had house fires and lost every material possession they had. Keepsakes of lost relatives, photo albums, cherished souvenirs, etc. some people have lost loved ones. The older you get, the more you accumulate tragedy, be it first or second-hand. Humor that hurts or scares people isn’t kind, even if you don’t agree with their sensitivity. Then again, when you collect enough tragedy, it can become funny again because you just have to laugh

Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world on 06 Mar 00:39 next collapse

Your specific example just sounds like superstition, but dark humor is like playing with fire, it can be a lot of fun, but, you have to be careful. There’s a time and a place, and it’s not funny if you accidentally burn someone.

DokPsy@lemmy.world on 06 Mar 01:49 collapse

Depends on who gets burned tbh

If the person burned has been boasting that they’re fireproof all night, that’s hilarious

RobotToaster@mander.xyz on 06 Mar 00:39 next collapse

Dark humour is like food, not everyone gets it.

SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world on 06 Mar 03:10 collapse

And too frequently the person not getting it is the person who thinks they’re great at dark humor.

fuckwit_mcbumcrumble@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 06 Mar 00:51 next collapse

Dark humor is how I live my life.

panda_abyss@lemmy.ca on 06 Mar 00:52 next collapse

Dark humour is very audience dependent. You have to know your audience for it for sure.

unknown1234_5@kbin.earth on 06 Mar 01:18 next collapse

its a know your audience thing. gotta gauge who will be ok with it and who won't.

derek@infosec.pub on 06 Mar 02:19 next collapse

I’d argue that isn’t even dark humor. The joke’s focal point is how ridiculous your mother’s position is. You’re taking up an untenable and patently absurd position in faux support of the initial absurd position. That’s ridicule. Now I will grant that lampooning a rhetorical opponent’s position can lean “dark”. Unless the punchline relies on taboo for the heavy lifting though it isn’t crossing that line.

You didn’t say anything offensive or taboo. You criticised someone’s bad take using contemptous analytic hyperbole. I grew up with this kind of humor in my family. It was mostly used as a learning tool which avoided direct confrontation of idiocy while allowing the temporarily embarassed idiot to save face, realize they weren’t thinking clearly, and choose to be in on the joke at their old self’s expense. There are other choices, or course, but if you chose to die on mount stupid then you’d better expect to get buried underneath it as well.

Your family doesn’t seem to be receptive to that brand of social therapy. That’s ok. My point is more to encourage you that you didn’t do anything wrong (and that it’s even normal to joke like that elsewhere).

Your mom might not think you’re funny… But I do!

napkin2020@sh.itjust.works on 06 Mar 03:03 next collapse
  1. That’s not dark humor. That’s just being edgy and it’s quite unappealing.

  2. In my culture, it’s considered bad luck to say that a disaster will happen.

  3. It does’t hurt to respect such thing, especially if it’s such a small thing.

DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works on 06 Mar 03:35 next collapse

This comment is clearly biased

User Display Name is “VeryFrugal”, of course you’re siding with the frugal parents

/j

IntrovertTurtle@lemmy.zip on 06 Mar 15:43 collapse

In my culture, it’s considered bad luck to say that a disaster will happen.

It’s also bad luck to ignore the obvious signs that something potentially bad could happen if no preventative action is taken. Bad happenings don’t care about beliefs or superstition.

No offense to your culture or any that view it that way, but it’s incredibly ignorant to make discussing them proactively, a social taboo.

SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world on 06 Mar 03:07 next collapse

I think this is less about the humor, and more about the superstition about speaking something into reality.

Here’s a story for you. My grandmother never struck me as on overly superstitious person. But she was very serious when she told me that one day she had a friend over eating in her kitchen when a blackbird flew in through the window. Her friend told her that it was a really bad omen, specifically that it was a harbinger of death. The next day my grandmother’s first born was killed in a hit and run.

She couldn’t get over why her friend would even say that out loud. Not really because she thought her friend was clairvoyant but because it poisoned their relationship. She’s got one of the most negative moments in her life made even worse because of a callous prediction a friend made that now tolls like a bell any time her son comes to mind.

There are some forms of negativity that are better off left unsaid. You saying it isn’t going to burn down the house. But one day you might wish you hadn’t said it.

In the end, are you any less frugal than your parents? When confronted with an issue, all you could afford was a mean spirited “joke” that isn’t funny. People are accepting of dark humor if it actually is humorous.

DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works on 06 Mar 03:54 collapse

In the end, are you any less frugal than your parents?

I mean they make so much money with their investments that its kinda silly to be so cheapskate on these things.

Literally had like text messages that she wants to present in a civil lawsuit and the phone was so laggy and it looks like it’s about to fail at any time… and still refused to buy a new phone afterwards (so you wont have a random malfunction and lose your evidence when you need it the most)

Literally refused to buy a dash cam until I keep insisting… like literally for their own good, “what if something happens?” I asked them, then they get mad for suggesting the idea that a car accident… something that happens all the time… could happen and they need a dash cam for evidence… I mean they literally got lightly rear-ended before… and it totaled the car… they didn’t have a dash cam back then, but luckily insurance automatically sided against the other side because its a rear-end collision.

Literally so frugal that they don’t wanna spend money on CARBON MONOXIDE DETECTORS… like we didn’t have that for like nearly a decade of living in the house… (eventually got them)

It’s not that they can’t afford it. Its they feel like everything is a waste.

Also the entire basement is filled with random stuff… like other people’s abandoned items… and we never even use it… hoarding so much shit lol…

IAmYouButYouDontKnowYet@reddthat.com on 06 Mar 04:04 next collapse

One time I was hanging around my black friends and said the N word then told them I have a dark sense of humor. You won’t believe what happened next!

DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works on 06 Mar 04:08 collapse

racism isn’t humor tho

IAmYouButYouDontKnowYet@reddthat.com on 06 Mar 04:21 collapse

They thought it was funny. I guess they aren’t the type of black people you are tolerant of.

Almacca@aussie.zone on 06 Mar 05:03 next collapse

It’s more ‘bad luck’ to keep using a sparking charger. Your mother’s an idiot.

Uranus_Hz@lemmy.zip on 06 Mar 06:56 next collapse

Fixing shit instead of buying new shit is smart.

The superstitious stuff isn’t.

bryndos@fedia.io on 06 Mar 07:22 collapse

On a mains power transformer, maintaining good electrical separation between mains side and low voltage side is a good superstition though. If in doubt increase the gap or insulation, electrical fire demons hate this one cheap trick.

ragepaw@lemmy.ca on 06 Mar 14:22 next collapse

You didn’t say where you’re from, but I know in some countries and cultures, you have deep rooted superstitions about attracting bad luck to yourself.

On both sides, my grandparents would put money in a wallet given as a gift. You were never allowed to keep a door open in case a robin flew in. Never put new shows on the table. If you go on a trip. never go back for something you forgot. Leave through a different door than you entered the house.

These were all things they thought bring bad luck. It’s possible your parents have some cultural superstition they never passed on. My grandmother would throw salt over her left shoulder until the day she died, even though she said it was a dumb superstition. My great grandmother told me fairies like to play “pranks” based on irony. I could see the joke you made being taken the same way by my great grandmother.

DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works on 06 Mar 15:16 collapse

My parents are from China… 🙃

They get especially mad when I say “negative” things the closer it gets to lunar new year (two weeks ago?)

Aparantly they get so worried about my therapy/psychaitry appointment which was also about 2 weeks ago because its bad luck or some shit…

Sure mom, news years is exactly what I need to “cleanse my spirit of evil” because obviously depression does not exist its its evil spirits latching on to me and I need some necklace with jade in it to “repel evil spirits”

🤦‍♂️

IntrovertTurtle@lemmy.zip on 06 Mar 15:45 next collapse

Your parents are definitely gonna end up using that fire insurance. At least your head is on straight.

Duamerthrax@lemmy.world on 06 Mar 21:15 next collapse

Your parents aren’t sensitive to dark humor. They’re superstitious.

Also, anything other than cleaning the port contacts in the charger is a waste of time.

EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com on 06 Mar 23:47 collapse

In my experience, it is generally acceptable among friends. Less so among family unless they are irreverent.