when is "cool" fine and when is it rude?
from s0larfl4re@sh.itjust.works to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world on 22 Jun 00:01
https://sh.itjust.works/post/40690481

when replying that way in any way, on text or actually just saying “cool”. my friends say cool a lot and I really don’t mind it and my partner says it too but some people have thought it was rude and I had a friend say “that’s what I say when I don’t give a damn”.

#nostupidquestions

threaded - newest

TheButtonJustSpins@infosec.pub on 22 Jun 00:05 next collapse

It depends both on context and on tone. Tone can make it excited or dismissive.

jaiden@sh.itjust.works on 22 Jun 00:07 next collapse

i agree, may be why op is fine with people saying “cool” like that because they are not dismissive

s0larfl4re@sh.itjust.works on 22 Jun 00:08 collapse

what if it’s “Cool.” over text? it seems fine to me but people have gotten similar responses saying it’s passive-aggressive.

DebatableRaccoon@lemmy.ca on 22 Jun 00:44 next collapse

Then it’s context. If you’re going for the excited delivery, try throwing in a ! or a “That’s” beforehand otherwise it could be misinterpreted as uncaring or dismissive.

FoxyFerengi@startrek.website on 22 Jun 00:48 next collapse

I’ve heard from Gen Z that ending a text response with a period is passive aggressive. So “cool” may have seemed glib on its own, but the punctuation might be giving an additional, if unintentional, tone

jeffw@lemmy.world on 22 Jun 01:18 next collapse

I’m a millennial and I think that

FoxyFerengi@startrek.website on 22 Jun 02:13 collapse

To be fair, I am also a millennial, but most of my friends were surprised when I told them about that correction I received from the younger generation. I guess that says more about my friends than millennials overall lol

Mesophar@pawb.social on 22 Jun 21:41 collapse

I’m also a millennial, and I think it depends a lot on rapport as well. If you regularly talk with someone in text form, and consistently use punctuation, it probably doesn’t come off as passive aggressive than if you suddenly respond with the trailing period. It also probably makes one-word responses a lot more abrupt.

I agree with above, replying “Cool!”, or “That’s cool!” would likely go over much better in that context

Yermaw@lemm.ee on 22 Jun 06:59 collapse

My wife does that. She’ll say she’s not mad and that she’s fine but the messages start ending with a.

Thats when I know im in trouble.

Monster96@lemmy.world on 22 Jun 01:53 next collapse

To make sure I don’t mean it to be sarcastic, I usually say “Cool cool”. That usually goes over nicely

Skezlarr@aussie.zone on 22 Jun 01:54 next collapse

To be honest I think it’s the trailing full stop that does that. Over text I find that usually comes across like you’re trying to shut down the conversation (even when you’re not)

olafurp@lemmy.world on 22 Jun 22:42 collapse

If it’s saying “cool” as an end to the conversation then it’s usually pretty rude. You need to show a bit of interest with a quick follow up like “how did you get it?” or “it took you a while?” and then ending the conversation is fine.

supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz on 22 Jun 00:07 next collapse

When “cool” is clearly an understatement about something negative or is in response to being stonewalled it is rude, otherwise it is chill.

Lumidaub@feddit.org on 22 Jun 00:19 collapse

You need to find ways to convey your intended tone of voice, that’s just the way it is. You could add a smiley. Even “Cool!” already looks a lot more enthusiastic than a dry “Cool.” with a full stop.